And More About Stress

I don't know where this is from originally, but it makes sense to me.

When you think about stress management, there are five areas you can target. Think of SCOPE:

Support
Control
Objectives
Perspectives
Esteem

1. Support: Get some support for yourself. Talk about it. Be careful though--support is not gossiping, and it is not bad mouthing. It is productive, and the point is for you to lower your stress level.

2. Control: How much control do you have? How important it is to you? If you have no control, don't spend your time trying to control it. Look elsewhere, and let that piece go. You can't control someone else's behaviour, unless you are in a position of power, for example. But maybe you can enlist the aid of someone who does have some control or influence.

3. Objectives: What do you want to accomplish? Do you want to win? Or do you want to have a good atmosphere at home/office/school? Do you want to resolve something?

4. Perspective: Find a new way to think about what is going on. How is the other person looking at the same issue? How does your colleague experience it? Can you think of the stressful situation as one that is challenging? Can you change the meaning--arguing with your husband means that the two of you are communicating or that the two of you are comfortable enough to differ in opinion.

5. Esteem: Sometimes a stressor is difficult because it calls into question something about ourselves. We feel, or wonder, maybe I am not good enough, I am not smart enough, I am not good looking enough. If you can change those thoughts, or argue them as they arise, then the stressor will have less impact on you. A first date doesn't go well? That doesn't mean there is a problem with you.