Why Are We Arguing

Ever notice you are having the same argument again and again? That you bring up the same things? Like you are on a carousel, and though you both want to get off you can't?

Sometimes, we end up in a position, which we think is the only solution to a problem. To give up the solution, we think, might mean our needs are not met, and our fears are not addressed.

Try to figure out what the goal is--what is the question you are trying to answer.

Then ask yourself, and listen to your partner--what are your needs? What are your fears? What will help you to feel included, safe, listened to?

THEN and only then, come up with lots of solutions. Brainstorm. Maybe one of the ideas will be a solution which meets the needs, fears, desires, of you both.