Making Relationships Better

I had a client tell me he had been able to pay attention to his reactions when his partner got upset. His normal pattern was to withdraw, he noticed. " I would just shut down, and that made her even angrier." He decided to try something different--to stay present with her. The result was a remarkable improvement in their ability to communicate. It was hard for him to do--it was hard to break his part of the pattern, and to face his anxiety about someone being upset with him, but the result was not only effective in his relationship, but for him as an individual. "I don't feel so helpless now, I know there is something I can do to make things better."

Sometimes relationships fail when the pattern begins to feel so entrenched that people feel helpless. When they have tools, they feel like they have mastery and some control in theire lives and relationships. They feel better about the relationship, but they feel better about themselves, too. And when you feel better about yourself, you have more energy. For your relationship